Being Honest - Unravelling

 They say don't put out anything on social media that you will regret later, Am not sure if i will regret this later. For time being I am just going to be honest with myself and share this here especially i know as there is hardly anyone reading this lol!

Why do I have a blog? I wanted to share my fun activities, any crazy crafty activities I do, later i thought I wanted so that I can show my life as an artist mom ....but thanks to so many things am on such confused phase of life, that I rather use this as my journal-  share and speak as I feel too. Some days are good than others, right? Today was actually a good day, water park opened up near us, we managed to get some books from library, had lovely freelance work opportunity and got to speak to a friend (well more like a text).

Then I wanted to share instagram post and i so wanted to share a blank page.... with a smaller version of what am writing here.. But i didn't as thats not what i want to show to others, especially when my day wasn't even bad. It hit me that why do we have to show as we know it all? why do we have to show to be so strong? why do we have to show as if we have figured everything out? As I surely haven't. 

I don't have my shit together, am making lists, over list...a time schedule, A list what i want to achieve, A list how my ideal week should be? A list what all i want to make? A list of what all i could work as? A list of all admins things i have to? A list of things that are not even important.But within few mins or couple of hours am scrambling again ...not for time don't get me wrong. But simply to keep up with what all i want to do and having no clue what i want to do! What an irony?!!

I am an Artist but I Am Surface Pattern Designer, me choosing one of the other will make me any less of OTHER? Currently, I want to create for Homeware/ Homedecor, for Childrens book, for editorials for murals for sleepwear ...i just want too start painting once again over anything that I want! Should i have products in house? should i do drop shipping? I feel as if I get cold feet as soon as time comes for decisions. Well so in nutshell I don't my shit together, atleast not today... But am strong believer in magic and way Universe works...and I know am just on verge of a revelation for myself----- I just need to be open.